"SLEEP PLEASE"

Baby uses sign language to request changes in bad parenting

"NO WHINE ZONE"

Baby hushed by pinhead mother

RESTRICTED AREA

Baby sent to grandparents house as parents celebrate mysterious anniversary ritual alone

TWIST OF FATE

Baby abducted from walk to playground; forced to receive flu shot, grumpies

HOME INVASION

Stranger Baby spends night, Baby left no recourse but to act out

WALK OF SHAME

Baby forced from playground in tears to satisfy mother's whim

BABY LIB

Baby excused from trip to AutoZone after meltdown in carseat

NOT-SO ITSY BITSY SPIDER

House thrust into turmoil as baby confronts mother's mortality after spider encounter

"DADA, ALL DONE!"

Morning cries from the basement ignored; answered by Mamma

TALK TO THE HAND

Baby learns sign language so as to better educate ignorant parents

"I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!"

Baby's ability to roam zoo restricted; melts down while avoiding sunburn

BIG SIP UP

Baby nearly drowns after lazy parent force feeds bottled water.

BANISHED!

Family celebrates weekend by imprisoning Baby at grandparent gulag.

JUICED

Baby shows no signs of autism after reckless parents force 3 immunizations in 1 day.

NO TOYS FOR TOT

Baby's attempt to obtain new toys thwarted by other baby backed by parents and random adults.

A NEW DAY

Baby and Journalist Rat form crib-cuddling pact; mirroring Obama Administration?

HOUSE OF FILTH

All members of the family skip bathing - wallow in own grime.

FIRST AMENDMENT DEAD

Journalist Rat shelved in Free Speech Zone to provide "More room for Baby."

BEGGER'S FEAST

Baby taken to restaurant and forced to eat family's food, oranges.

FOLLOW THE FLOW

Baby given late P.M. cake to extend waking day and string of abnormal 10 A.M. waking times.

POOPLET PROTEST

Hour of screaming ends early, unjust bedtime.

MAMMA M.I.A.

Stranger-babies get 12 hours, own child gets 45 minutes of mommy time.

SOILED GREEN

Parents put baby to bed in poopy sleeper to minimize laundry.

HEATHEN!

Parents go to church in shifts to avoid bringing baby.

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

Parents end baby's stand in tub.

ROTTEN BABY, ROTTEN PARENTS

Baby sent to bed without a bath for the 3rd consecutive day.